There’s something about Miami that pulls you towards it. It might be the fact that it’s considered the cultural hot spot of south Florida, the center of a Top Chef competition, tropical flora, music conferences and scantily clad women. But there’s something about the city that alternates between stylish and sad. A street lined with homeless people during the day is lined with expensive cars at 2 a.m. People drop 20’s like raindrops on a palm tree. The art deco architecture harks to the impending depression more than a boom. It’s all quite strange to a girl from New Jersey.

One way or another, I wound up at the Miami Style Wars this past Saturday. I went to go meet Roman and MJ at their hotel room at the Intercontinental Hotel. Roman had a hearty handshake and a smile, and I was hypnotized by the sunglass lens necklace he wore around his neck. MJ was amazing, and spoke about her distain for the wealth that it takes to make it in the fashion world as opposed to talent.

The first male competitor shook my hand, but I noticed that he kissed the hand of every other lady competitor once they entered the room and the heat of battling turned up.

Then I saw the guy with the fabric shears tattooed on his forearm.

How serious were these people about this event? Quite serious, it turned out. But it didn’t deter me from attempting to have as much fun as possible.

The event was held at the White Room, a club with walls the color of its name and 3/4 under the stars. They’re also quite liberal about smoking down here.

I was fortunate enough to have a coterie of fabulous women (all writers or artists) who were willing to assist me on stage. Wendy, Jana, Cathay: you are all wonderful, thank you. We took my red theme and blew it up into fashion. In 5 minutes.

After getting off the stage, the four of us were asked by a nervous fellow about to go up with “Which one of you bitches took my scissors?”. Bitch, please.

The trance music pounded, the photographers shot, fabric from old wedding dresses were snowflakes in the tropical breeze. A winner was announced, my original competitor. I know now that she’s one of the “it” designers of Miami. Good for her – but the 2nd runner up was so skilled he gave me renewed respect for fashion.

So here’s our result: